Mom and Split Pea Soup
By Rusticliving
We All Have One!
Have you ever had a relative that could just embarrass the snot out of you? I think we all have one hidden away somewhere in one of our closets. I DO! However, mine isn’t hiding in any closet! She’s out in the wide open world. Now mind you, she’s not quite as “bad” (and I use that word loosely) as she was when I was a teenager!
Ahhhh yes….. I was a teenager when it happened and like any teenager, your parents can and WILL take any opportunity to embarrass their children at least once while you’re growing up. Hence, mine was no different. I think my mother went to the school of “Parenting; the joys of embarrassing your kid in three easy steps.”
My mother had many many…..many..m-a-n-y times of assisting me in keeping my face red. This particular time I believe ranks right up there with “Oh God, Just Shoot Me Now!”
Weekend Surprises
My mother loved to go away for the weekends and surprise us kids with a trip to Disneyland, or to a new town we haven’t been before. She was great at the spontaneity thing. We all loved it and were always wondering where she would take us next.
I remember one time she wanted to take us to see the fields of wild flowers (somewhere in California.) It was supposed to be miles and miles of fields with nothing but wild flowers of all different colors and species. We drove for what seemed like days, but actually had only been driving for about three hours. She kept driving, bound and determined to find the wild flowers!
We never found them, only later to find out that we were three months too late. It’s called SPRING mother! As she came to the conclusion that there were no flowers to be found, she stopped the car abruptly, made a U-Turn in the middle of the desert and proceded to head back to whence we came, when out of nowhere she proclaimed, “The wild flowers will have to wait till next year! Today… We’re going to see Mickey!”
Okay.. Nothing embarrassing about that. We had a great time!
I felt a little obligated to take a “side trip” to let you know, she definitely has her “Cool Mom” side to her!
That Infamous Day!
HOWEVER….. Getting back to real issue at hand.... Split Pea Soup!
Well, it wasn’t actually the soup itself, but the restaurant we ate at.
I was fourteen; my two younger brothers were 10 and 2. Mom had made an announcement when my brother and I came home from school one Friday that we were going to stay the weekend in "Solvang" (Calif).
This is a picturesque town with a Scandinavian flair throughout and all the buildings have the look of mountain chalets. The town has windmills and many shops that specialize in antiques, candies, crepes, Swiss clocks, and so much more. Just about anything and everything you could think of. The streets are either paved with brick or cobblestone and the town is very clean. We loved going there and were very excited and anxious to get packed and on our way!
We got to Solvang, checked into our motel, and immediately headed out to the next little town up the road called Buellton. There is a well-known restaurant in Buellton that serves Mom’s favorite Split pea soup.
We all had a great lunch and before we headed back to town, Mom and I needed to use the little girl’s room.
That’s when it happened!
Setting the Scene
As you walk into the restroom, you immediately run into a wall and need to turn left. As you face the far wall, you see 3 sinks ahead on that wall and to the left are three stalls. Across from the sinks on the opposite wall is a bench to sit on. Are you following me? Good!
There was a woman already in the middle stall. Mom took the stall on the left of the woman, and I occupied the one on the right.
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The Script
As if timed in a comedy routine the next few minutes all took place in rhythm:
1. I finished first. Went out of my stall to wash my hands and another woman who had just entered the bathroom took my place.
2. Pictured: Mom in left stall, first lady STILL in the middle, new lady in right (my) stall.
3. As I’m washing my hands, 3 other women enter and are waiting to use the facility.
4. I finished washing my hands and take a seat on the bench.
5. Pictured: MOM thinks it was the first lady that finished, washed her hands and left.
Thinking it was only I and she in the bathroom, she proceeded to blurt out these next few lines:
(Keeping in mind that Mom on occasion would still talk “baby talk” due to the fact my brother was only two.)
WOMAN (action): Tinkles a little
MOM: In Baby Talk: “Oh my! What a big girl!”
WOMAN (action): Tinkle intensifies
MOM: In Baby Talk: “ OOOOHHHHoooooooo Sweety.. You tinkle so good! Momma so proud of you!
Pictured: Three women standing in line begin to look at each other and giggle under their breath. (I’m sitting quietly on the bench as if not to be noticed)
WOMAN: Tinkle gushing and then the “second” business begins!
MOM: OHHH! You made a Poopy! Do you need mommy to wipe your bum? Such a good poopy girl!
Pictured: The three women waiting in line are all bending over trying to see who the crazy lady is in the stall making all these comments. I’m hugging the far corner of the bench with the jacket over my face.
At the same time, both my mother and the “Poopy” woman flush and exit their stalls. My mother witnessed the three women laughing so hard, they nearly made it to their respective stalls. Then my mother saw me crouching in the corner and shaking my head. Without hesitation, mom turned to the woman to apologize, and the woman with smoke and flames spewing from her ears turned her back to my mom and stormed out without washing her hands. (I swear I thought my mother was a dead woman).
As my mother washed her hands, she hears two of the women within their stalls say, “Ooooo Such a big girl! You make a big poopy!”
“Oh God, Just Shoot me now!
All Rights Reserved
Copyright © 2012 Lisa Furugen (RusticLiving)
Healthy Split Pea Soup
In honor of my Mother (whom I adore with all my heart) and her favorite soup, I’ve included this healthy recipe of classic Split Pea Soup.
This recipe is low in calories and fat. It’s also faster than most recipes and very easy to make.
Ingredients
- 2 teaspoons olive oil
- 1 onion, finely chopped
- 1/2 carrot, chopped
- 1 clove garlic, minced
- 1 cup dried green or yellow split peas, picked over, rinsed, and drained
- 4 cups water
- 1/2 cup slivered Canadian Bacon, (*Optional)
- 1 teaspoon dried marjoram
- 3/4 teaspoon salt
- 1/8 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
Instructions
- In a medium nonstick saucepan over medium heat, heat the oil. Saute the onion, carrot and garlic until softened (about 5 minutes)
- 2.Add the split peas and water; bring to a boil. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, until the peas are tender, stirring once (about 1 hour)
- Add the Canadian bacon, marjoram, salt, and pepper; heat to serving temperature.
- * Canadian bacon imparts the smokey flavor of ham without a lot of fat in this slimmed-down version of "Classic Split Pea Soup." This soup thickens upon standing, so add water to thin when reheating.
Cook Time
| Nutrition Facts | |
|---|---|
| Serving size: 4 | |
| Calories 199 | Calories from Fat 27 |
| % Daily Value * | |
| Fat 3 g | 5% |
| Saturated fat 1 g | 5% |
| * The Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet, so your values may change depending on your calorie needs. The values here may not be 100% accurate because the recipes have not been professionally evaluated nor have they been evaluated by the U.S. FDA. | |
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Comments: Mom and Split Pea Soup
Thank you Susan. My mother is a hoot. I'm so pleased you enjoyed it! :)
This is so incredibly fun! I can vividly imagine the scenario and how embarrassed you must have been! Thanks for the great read, it made my evening and I know I will think about it next time I visit a public restroom!
Tina
Thank you thougtforce! I still think about it everytime I vist a restroom!..lol :)
Daarn it! I was reading the script and then a Recipe? Lol! You did a double whammy of imagination and well done inspiration. Loved the pics! I wonder if Vocal Couch Mom, will train this future Actress?
LORD
Oh my goodness what a funny story, it gave me a good chuckle.
LOL! I bet she would for a cup of Split Pea Soup!
I'm glad you liked it lucybell! :)
What a great introduction to a delicious recipe. The baby picture at the top is hilarious. Voting this Up and Useful.
Thank you alocsin! I just about died laughing when I saw that pic as well. Kind of says it all, doesn't it?? LOL Thanks for the vote!
There is no question the only reason my parents were put on this earth was to embarrass me. Otherwise there was nothing else for them to do. And of course they never do it when you are home in private, NO NO NO NO, always in public. Of course I gave it back to them when I could. AH a child's revenge.
In my family I coined the term "a mystery ride." We went on lots of them, most often with a purpose or goal in mind.
Your mother is a hoot! It sure must have been interesting growing up in your home. This was so funny. Voting up!
Hahaha! I think parents have a "Secret Society" myself!
I have to admit.. she did make it fun! CRAZY, but fun!
Oh Cindy... if you only knew! Thanks for the vote!
....entertaining read my friend and of course you have the greatest mum in the world so with this unbeatable combination there is only one thing to do and that is to post your wonderful hub to my Facebook page for all to see with a direct link back here - lake erie time ontario canada 1:54pm and sending both you and your dear mum warm wishes and good energy
I think I just wet my bloomin' pants!! Oh cripes,...I DID! LOL That was friggin' hilarious!! My mother still does that as well....I'm 49, she's 82!! I'm the baby of the family, and my twin sis (4 minutes older) never let's me forget it....I gotta go make Poopy! Holla! :)
Thank you my dear Epi. You are the best! And as for my mum, you're right... she's the greatest! :)
LOL. Too funny! And ya know what? My Mom still does it as well and she's 3,000 miles from me. I tell ya, it's a secret society! I'd better let ya go so you can go clean up your mess! Thanks Jrandol! :)
Priceless! Oh I hope my kids are as kind and appreciative of my bizarre wandering trips and bouts of humiliating behavior as you are of your dear mother's.
What can seem like a wonderful adventure to an adult can be forgettable to kids and then some behaviors, they only wish they could forget. This was delightful!
Thank you Poohgranma! Somehow, I don't think I was as appreciative at that moment. Ha! But, I learned very quickly throughout my life with mom..it certainly wasn't going to be boring! I'm pleased you enjoyed it! :)
Oh wow! That's hilarious. I don't know how you kept quiet in the corner. I would have laughed for sure.
lol...I did a little afterwards..but oh my... at the time I thought I was going to have to make funeral arrangements!
This is absolutely hilarious! You made us a part of the scene and I almost felt as if I were in that room with you. Haha! Your mother sounds like she kept you guys entertained and introduced you to many things on the fly, so to speak. Solvang, California looks charming and your split pea soup recipe sounds like a winner. Thanks! Still smiling as I hit the up buttons and will SHARE with my followers.
Oh Thank you so much Peggy! My intent was to take you along with me on this ride and it seems as if I accomplished that. I am so happy you enjoyed it. Thank you so much for the votes! :)
First of all....the baby is adorable. Secondly, the soup recipe sounds yummy. I love split pea soup. Last, but not least, your story is great. The play-by-play details made it so realistic and hilarious. I can imagine my mom doing something like that.
Thank you! What's so amazing to me is that I have been talking about these episodes since I was young. Never occured to write them down. Thank God I have a mother who provided me with so much...ummm...experience! :)
LOL! Your mother gets more awesome with each hub!!! Looking forward to #3!
She is an amazing woman! Thanks so much!
Years ago, my son would not willingly eat vegetables, most especially peas. Then one day his mom and I had an idea. We told him that tonight we were having "ham soup." He loved it. And ate lots of it every time we served it.
A few years later he finally wised up and got mad. He still mentions today at age 34. Didn't like being fooled, I guess.
Yep. It's that Parent Secret Society that get together and come up with ways to fool their children! LoL. Thanks for the comment! :-)
What a wonderful hub. No wonder it was sent out as one of the top ten on Digg! did you see that? I got a notification of it. It's hilarious. Your mom is so funny, and how embarrassing for you! And then you honor her by giving her special split pea soup recipe. How delightful! and the recipe looks great, so I'll have to bookmark it! Good work!
Oh Thank you so much! No! I hadn't seen that! wow! Thank you for telling me. I will check it out! I am so glad ou enjoyed it. You just can't make this stuff up! haha.. That's why I had to also right Mom and the Great Shakedown as well. I love her to bits and the things I had to go through make me laugh so hard today! :)
I'm laughing so hard I'm coughing! What a great story! Voted up and funny.
LOL Marcy. Don't choke! I'm really glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for the vote! :-)
Thanks for the laugh this morning! I love it! I can imagine that this story will be one of your family favorites for years to come! And thanks for the recipe for split pea soup - one of my favorites, too! Voted up and shared!
Ya never know who is listening....so funny for sure. I have moments like that with my grandmother I still giggle over at times and that was over 40 years ago.
I have been telling this story for 40 years and it never gets dull! My mom read it the other night and laughed so hard I thought she was going to pass out! I asked her, are you laughing hard cause of the way I told it? She said, "No, it's because I can't believe what a nut I was!" I replied, "WAS?!?!" Thanks for the vote up and for sharing! Much appreciated! :)
Aren't those "memories" priceless? I wouldn't trade them for anything! I appreciate your visit and comment! :)
Dear Lisa ~ You have the gift of gab or 'story-telling' in the way you zig-zagged this way and that under we reached the pea soup. Makes a wonderful children's storybook. You even got me to laugh along the way. Blessings, Debby
Thank you so much Debbie~ This story was and still is dear to my heart. My mother has made it so easy for me to tell stories about her antics. She is a wonderful and crazy woman who has brought joy to my life. Blessings to you as well~ Lisa
Oh. Please correct my typo above.... zig-zagged this way and that "UNTIL" we reached the pea soup. Must proof-read these comments, too. We all change as we grow older. I'm sure your mom knows how much you love her and vice-verse.
Well I knew what you meant :) My mom is a treasure and yes, she does know how much I love her. Thank you so much Debby!
That is a great story. I guess there are so many more memories. Good for you
Oh AnnaCia, if you only knew! haha. I have a few other "Mom" hubs that may make you laugh as well. She was and still is a hoot! Thank you for your comment! :)
This one was a real hoot! I've been to Solvang and have eaten Anderson's Pea Soup...the absolute best! Thanks for the laugh and for the memories. Well done! Voted up and funny.
Thank you so much! Did you ever have your picture taken with the Chef and sweet pea sign? We had to do it every time we visited! Thanks for the vote! :)
LOL, crack me up Lisa! Well, what your Mom did cracked me up. Too funny. I love the recipe too. I was going to do a recipe hub on my Split Pea Soup and I saw your hub a few weeks ago and figured I'd do something else. I'm finally getting around to reading. This was fun!
LOL Sharon. I'm glad you liked it. It was even funnier in person!(Except for the woman in the middle stall!) LOL Thanks fo reading! :-)
I had to pick myself up off the floor after reading this hilarious story. It brought back some very pleasant memorable memories of fun with my mom to when I was a boy. You ended your story with a wonderful recipe of Pea Soup. Tell your mom for me that it's Vincent's favorite soup as well. My mother made it often for me and to this day I can't get enough of it when placed bowl after bowl in front of me. Your right about the Canadian back bacon, it does ad that smoky added flavor to it. I can eat it all day long. Great hub, I have to wipe the tears from the side of my cheeks from laughing so hard. Voted Up and awesome and most definitely FUNNY.
hahaha Vincent... Somehow I can picture you picking yourself up off the floor. My mother is quite the character!.. See you all know her as this sweet innocent woman of many talents... which she is... but there's this side of her that only I know about and it's time the world is privy to it..... (pack back time for all the times I had to do the dishes! lol)I'm pleased you enjoyed it! :)
I laughed SO HARD at this, I had to READ the WHOLE THING to my husband who was wondering why I nearly peed my pants from laughing so hard. I never snort, either. I just did. HAHAHAHA. I wish I could vote up and funny 1000 times! XD
LOL CC! Do I need to send you some Depends? I have invested in the company myself just because of my mother's antics! She is a National Treasure for sure! I'm happy you liked it.. If you get the chance.. read the other MOM hubs.. but make sure you Pee first. LOL HUGS
Wonderful - and the recipe so clever!!
Thank you for the laugh - hilarious and voted up:-)
I'm glad you enjoyed it Movie Master! :)
Lovely! Thanks for sharing. http://www.cattleboyz.com/
Thank you beef jerky! :)
I couldn't imagine the hub itself could be any funnier than the pic of the baby at the beginning, but it WAS! Hilariously so! Now ya know why I NEVER spoke when my daughters and I were answering Nature's Call in a public restroom!
I'm heading over to read your other "Mom" hubs! Voted this one UP and hilarious! ;D
Isn't that baby pic a hoot? It's a good thing you kept quiet in the public restrooms JamaGenee, or else you might have seen a similar hub with your name on it! LOL (just a sweet daughter's revenge)
I laughed sooo much I had tears running down my face and all I could do was point to the laptop when asked what was so funny. Thank you ever so much for sharing this. voted up etc.
lol Lyn.Stewart! You know what is so funny is that when readers like yourself tell me they had tears running down their face from laughing so hard, I know exactly what your experiencing. I giggle at the thought of you laughing that hard! Thanks for the votes! :)
Your mother was funny. My mother is 90 and she can still embarrass me. Loved your hub voted up.
lol moonlake.. you mean it keeps going?????? :) Thanks for the votes!
Just Ask Susan 3 months ago
OMG this is so funny! I can just image this happening.
I love Solvang. I walked around that town years ago and wanted to live there.
Really enjoyed this hub, and thanks so much for the laughs.